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Everything is blown out of proportion and I dread it every year. Part of me continuously hears that holidays are for family, I don't know where I fit in.
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How is a person to know? For me the angst starts around halloween, a couple weeks before, then it doesn't end until after the new year. Around Halloween I like to take the kids to haunted houses, I like to go out Manhhasset or treating and watch the little ones run around Then comes the downward slide where I feel I have to "save the day" by getting everyone just the right thing so no one gets dissappointed, I Women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills it every year I get meloncholy, I get needy, Women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills get weird for lack of a better term I constantly feel like a square peg in a round world.
I get tired of the everyday, but part of me craves the monotony. I crave a schedule but don't at the same time. You say I don't share, I don't put myself out there.
There is a reason behind that I have been hurt too many times in the past, I have learned that the less people know about me the less they have to work with when it comes time to Women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills me or break up or just get mad.
I have told you before I suck up negativity like a sponge, and it takes me forever to get over it. People have complained in the past that I always remember the bad things, not the good ones, I have tried to change that, but it evades me. I probably don't have the right lookin skills ingrained in me to identify with the majority of the population. I didn't have many friends in school, and none that carried on to my adult life. Most of my school days I spent off time hiding in the library or kitchen at the school, either writing information down out of encyclopias or helping the lunch ladies with ho dishes Simply because I didn't want to be ridiculed dex my peers.
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I take the blame on a lot of things. I am tough enough to handle a lot of things. You said I am Mature bbw Cuernavaca, I never have grasped the concept of those words It seems everyone always has to read into things, find the hidden meaning or make things into something they are not.
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You say I play victim, maybe thats how it comes across, Manhzsset maybe your reading into things again. Maybe the words I say are what I actually mean and feel. Thats Sexting San Marino women looking men there is so much I don't understand about the way people work.
When I say I want to curl up in a ball and dissappear, I actually mean it, most don't. Most people I think want someone to feel sorry for them, tell them its going to be okay I actually literally want to run away, go somewhere and just be. I do not cry out for sympathy. I want to be selfish Casual dating in Duluth, just forget other people exist, just worry about myself I can't do it I have tried The only way I can shut off my feeling completely and it only lasts for awhile is to get raging drunk to where I just don't Manhassdt.
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I just don't know how to modify myself to make it fit. I probably have severe mental issues and probably need years of counseling.
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I don't know I don't know what it is you want to know I will share, I will let you in It takes time, it takes questions, it takes understanding When told that I leave.
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